You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
