dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize