dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
