just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
