ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
