Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm like, not good at living.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
