break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
