well you can't waste a boner
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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