ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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