Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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