I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Randomize
