It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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