I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
