Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
