dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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