why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
