The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
