I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
