i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize