6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
