new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You took a bar mat shot.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
