reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
