Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
