Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
