I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
