it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize