You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
