perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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