The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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