Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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