Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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