Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
