I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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