i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize