Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
