the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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