Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
