Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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