Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
