You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
