Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
