And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm getting married
To pizza
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
