I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The struggles of a small town man whore
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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