The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
