thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
