I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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