I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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