The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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