Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
