i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
