New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
