you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon