i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
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i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
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He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me