So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.