i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
