im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place