So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!