And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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