yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night