He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.