haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
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It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
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Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals