You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
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I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
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I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.