He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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