dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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