everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
