at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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