Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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