that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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