sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
